Hunger

Before this op, i did months of research.  The most valuable feedback came from the array of weight loss surgery forums out there.

One of the things i had read about the gastric sleeve, was that post oppers rarely felt hunger if they felt it at all.

The surgeons remove two thirds of your stomach.  The part they remove is responsible for creating a hormone called ghrelin.  Grehlin sends signals to the brain that say 'oo im hungry, feeeed meeee'.

Now the thought of not feeling hungry is fantastic!  So it was something i was looking forward to post op.

Speaking post-op, the reality is slightly different.

I dont feel hunger like i used to, but i do feel it.  Before, you feel hungry, your stomach starts chruning and you cant get food off your mind until you've satiated the beast by stuffing your face with whatever it is you are craving.

Now my brain goes 'hmmm, i could go something to eat'.  My tummy growls a little and i get this hollow feeling in my stomach.  After ive eaten, the hollow feeling goes away.  So technically, its not the hunger im used to, but it IS hunger.  Those feelings dont go away until ive eaten!  Of course the good thing is i can now no longer polish off a whole pizza, garlic bread and ice-cream!  If i were allowed real food right now, i think i could just about polish of 2 slices of garlic bread!

One more week of pureed food (urgh) then im onto mushy food (yay!)

Weighed myself again today (i know, i know) and havent lost anything from Saturday.  A mild fear is setting in!  Keeping my fingers crossed for a couple of pounds loss by Saturday! 

x

Weigh In Day

So yesterday was weigh in day - i lost an astounding 1lb!  Thats right, i lost 1lb.  I was initially pissed off, after all, ive pooped turds that have weighed more than 1lb, but its a 1lb that will never darken my door again.  This time, every pound i loose, wont be coming back, and that feels really nice.

It's also common after weight loss surgery, to have the '3 week stall'.  Roughly every 3 or so weeks, your body goes,

'oh noes!  i am being starved!  Hold onto every molecule of fat starting...now!'

This lasts between a week or two.  In these times i need to remember its taken me over 20 years to get this big, so im lucky its not going to take me 20 years to get slim!  Slowly, slowly catchy monkey...

On a side note, i am utterly hating the puree stage.  I had read that everyone pureed everything and that it tasted ok - well it doesnt!!  Ive tried chicken caserole, chilli con carne and roast chicken which have been so grose i have been barely able to eat a teaspoon of it!  What has been ok is pureed veg (although its pretty much soup) and bologanise sauce (which again just feels like glorified soup).  I have also started eating ready break which is quite nice actually.  I'm not even looking forward to mushy food anymore, i jsut want to get it on with solid food!  But alas, i am a good girl these days therefore i will stick to the rules and follow the post op diet urgh.

x

2nd Weigh In

My 2nd weigh in is due tomorrow - im freaking out because ive lost NOTHING so far this week!  I was aware that your body naturally stalls for a couple of weeks but as far as i knew, this happened around 3 weeks.  Im gutted. 

After loosing 10lbs last week, the scales have become my obsession - and its so disheartening when the scales stop moving downwards!!

Its usually this point in a diet where i think 'oh fuck it all' and go out and pig out.  So i guess something positive is that i cant do that anymore so i won't be gaining any weight!

This is definately a roller coaster of emotions - i just want to get to being slim, so i can eat properly, look good and feel good!

Also got a SPA day booked with the two girls i had my op with on Friday 29th July - i cant wait to see what we'll look like!  ( i better have lost some major weight by then lol)

x

Day 15 - Post Op

Good news folks, i pooped today!  Was quite a dense poop but out it come!  Didnt need to take anything in the end.

For the last 3 days ive had what is best described as 'furry teeth'.  It feels like the inside of my teeth are rough, mainly the top two centre teeth.  When i brush my teeth, the feeling eases up a bit but within half an hour, im furry again!  Ive brushed my teeth so often in these last few days that my gums at the top, have become inflamed and are now bleeding everytime i brush!

Im hoping that when i start real food, this horrible feeling should go away.  If it doesnt go away, i'll...just worry about it later!

Today i had a very nice dinner, even if i do say so myself!  I had my pureed bolognaise sauce, with watery  instant mash topped with parmesan cheese mmmmm  it tasted so nice!  I ate 90% of the little ramekin i used.  I feel comfortably full.  I did have a moment where i forgot i cant drink and eat at the same time and that felt heavy on my chest.  I gave it 5 minutes then carried on eating

I have to say im so afraid of vomitting!  It's become a little phobia of mine - you'd think after all that puking at the hospital, i'd be used to it!  BUT i dont want to know what it feels like to eat so much that you vomit...it looks like its something every sleever does at least once...but im scared!!

Today i have eaten...

Day 14 - Post Op Constipation Blues

Probably too much information, but, i havent pooped for 3/4 days.  Im feeling a little bloaty today and thats when i realised i hadnt carried out any business for a while.

Ive been reading that i need a stool softner, rather than a laxative.  I'll give it another couple of days and if i still havent pooped, then off to the chemists i go!  Ive just heard back from Michael at cosmetic bliss, and hes suggested lots of water, to sip fruit juice and if things still arent happening to try lactolose (to soften it up) or a proper laxative (extreme measure but shouldnt affect my sleeve).

Im generally feeling well.  I quit smoking 4 weeks prior to surgery and thats going pretty well consdering!  I cam off patches after the operation.  It's a weird feeling really, id love a smoke right now but the thought of inhaling puts me off!!  Lets hope this is it and that i dont return to smoking!

Ive been having the most random dreams for at least 3 weeks - i'd put it down to fears about the oepration, but im still having them!  Will have to start writing them down because i forget within 5 minutes!

Today i tried pureed roast chicken - it was quite disgusting!  Roll on the 7th March where mushy becomes my new best friend!

x

Day 13 - Post Op

So today i returned to work.  I work in a school and as its half term, the place was dead, which is nice for me.  No hecticness or stress all that comes next week

I met a friend today for lunch.  I wasnt happy about meeting over food, especially when i couldnt have any!  But actually it wasnt as bad as id thought it would be.  I had spicey parsnip soup and she had a chicken new yorker baguette with chips (used to be one of my favourites!)  It felt horrible not being able to eat such lovely food while i sipped on crappy soup, frankly i was gutted.

Only now im home, and im thinking about it, do i realise it was that kind of eating that got me to being a big fat blob in the first place.  Still miss it, but im over it.

Today im starting pureed food (woohoo!).  It's a day early but honestly im sick of cup of soups, muller yoghurts and hot chocolate!!  Now that puree day has come, im not feeling as enthusiastic!  It's going to be like thick liquid, and im just not digging that.

So tonights culinary delight is bolognaise sauce, pureed to death mmm.  It took me 40 minutes to eat approximately 120ml of bolognaise sauce and mince!  And twice i had to re-heat it!  It started off well but towards the end i could feel a pressure on my chest, which i guessed was my new tummy saying 'woah there!'  Im actually petrified of being sick and this has made me eat very slowly, and follow the blending rules!  Still cant imagine what eating real food will feel like though...

On a positive note, ive finished my heparin!

Now please give me the strength to get through these 2 weeks!! x

Today i have eaten:





Foooood

I am really craving solid food tonight...im not hungry but i want something hot, chewy and tasty!!  My brother has ordered himself a Dominos pizza with all the extras.  This used to be one of my favourite fat meals and god it smells good. 

I was looking forward to pureed food but not at the moment - i dont think it will satisfy my tastebuds.  I know i had this surgery to help me loose weight but i do hope there comes a point again in my life where i can have a slice of pizza, or grab a burger sometime!

Food my friend...i miss you x

The Importance of Protein

Everywhere i look, the most important thing i see is 'get all your protein'.  I should be aiming to get 60-70grams of protein per day.  It's important to remember that the body cannot absorb more than 30 grams of protein per meal!  It is also important to avoid high protein & saturated fats (eg red meat).

Ok so im beginning to understand just how important protein is.  Why? 

• Because the body does not store protein which makes it easier to loose weight from stored fat
• It is vital to growth, maintenance and repair of all body cells
• When dieting, your body will pull protein from muscles (which you dont want)
• Without enough protein, you can loose some hair (common with WLS paitients)

I'd say that during the 6 weeks following surgery, i wont worry so much about getting my protein in.  The focus during this time will be getting my liquids in.  However, if i can, protein from the start is good.


High Protein Foods

1 large Egg                                    6 grams
Skimmed Milk (100ml)                  3 grams
Cottage Cheese (1/2 cup)              14grams
Cottage Cheese low fat (1/2 cup)   16grams
Soft Cheese (Brie, Mozzarella)       6 grams per oz
Medium Cheese (Cheddar, swiss)  7 grams per oz
Hard Cheese (parmesan)                10 grams per oz
Low fat yoghurt                              4 grams


Tofu (1 oz)                                    3 grams
Most Beans (1/2 cup)                    8 grams
Baked beans (1 tin)                       9 grams
Soy Milk (1 cup)                           8 grams
Chickpeas (1/2 cup)                      7 grams


Peanut Butter (2 tbsp)                    8 grams
Peanuts (1/4 cup)                           9 grams
Pumpkin seeds (1/4 cup)                8 grams


Tuna (1 tin)                                   33 grams
Sardines in water                          22 grams
Cod fish fingers x 3                       13 grams


Chicken breast (100 grams)          31 grams
Chicken leg/wing (6 oz)                 9 grams


Turkey breast (100 grams)            17 grams


2 pork sausages                            15 grams
2 chicken sausages                        19 grams    


Sirloin Steak (150grams)               38 grams
Lean Mince (100 grams)               21 grams
                        
Whey Protein & skimmed milk      22 grams (250ml)
Banana Slimfast & skimmed milk   14 grams (250ml)

Wholemeal bread (1 slice)             4 grams
Readybrek & milk                         5 grams
Oatso simple & milk                      9 grams
Weetabix & milk                           4 grams


Those are a few examples.  I have started to use http://www.myfitnesspal.com/  When you log what you have eaten, apart from the traditional calories, it also works out how much protein youve had.  For those of you who like your apps, there is one available for fitness pal x

1st Weigh In

Saturdays are my official weigh in days.  I lost 4lbs while i was in hospital which narked me since i hadnt eaten for 3 bloody days!!

Anyhoo, today is my first proper weigh in and i have lost 10lbs! 

Thats right folks, stick your eyes back into you head, mamma gone lost herself 10lbs in a week!! To say im pleased, is a mild understatement.  I am aware that this is my first proper loss so the next losses wont be as much, but im still really chuffed!!

The Food Bible

Ive been searching forums again today to help me answer some food questions

Q1  What is the difference between pureed and mushy food
A     You can eat the same thing on both stages (eg lasagne), however on the puree stage, you must use a blender to blitz your food.  On the puree stage, you may also need to add extra liquid (eg gravy) so it slips down.   Mushy stage would be the lasagne chopped with a fork, no major hard bits in there either!

Q2   How much protein do i need to be eating?
A     I need to be eating between 60-70grams of protein a day (this is going to be tough!)

Q3   How much should i be able to eat in the first year?
A     I should be able to manage 4-6oz a meal (thats a fourth of a pound of food), a small container

It seems that the golden rule post any weight loss surgery is:

Protein first, then veggies, then carbs!!

Now i need to find out how i will manage 70 grams of protein in a day urgh x

Day 10 - Post Op

Today has gone pretty well, i have eaten the following:

1/2 mug of mint madness hot choc
1/2 banana & custard yoghurt
1 strawberry slim fast
1/2 mug of golden veg cuppa soup
1  vanilla mini milk
1/2 banana & custard yoghurt
1/2 mug of mint madness hot choc
unlimited NAS juice

It definately feels like today i can fit more into my sleeve.  Im not to worried, i just assume my tummy is healing well.  On a Friday i usually go to my friends house where we chill and chew the cud so to speak.  Today i drove to her house (not sure if im meant to be driving or not!) and my first real test.  The girls drove to McDonalds sweet mother of christ and grabbed themselves dinner.  I dont want my surgery to affect those around me to so i was like sure, go eat.

I had been prepared and brought NAS juice and 1/2 of my yoghurt with me.  I really could have eaten like some chicken nuggets, or even a couple of chips (they smelt like salty heaven), but i resisted - the embarassment of asking for a chip saved me hah! 

It definately is hard to stick to a liquid only diet when you start feeling 100% again.  At the moment it doesnt feel like ive had surgery!!!  I have been warned that when i move onto solid foods, i will struggle again to fit it all in.  Im just going to do all i can to avoid vomitting (i so hate puking!)

I am still strictly liquids.  One of the girls i had the surgery with had ryvitas mushed up in her soup today and the other had a few chips, but i am still determined to stick to the plan (this determination wont last much longer so im making the best of it!)

I have felt a little tired today, but im not sure if thats because im consuming so little or the fact that i was having some fucked up dreams this morning... x

Bariatric Cooking

So this whole sleeve thing is like being a baby again - and thats such a perfect comparison.

2 weeks of liquids

2 weeks of puree

2 weeks of mushy

Normal food!!!!!!

Ok so i still havent quite got the difference between puree and mushy....as soon as i do figure it out, i shall share.  For now everything will be blitzed to within an inch of its life.

Ive been trawelling the net for recipes for those who are post op.  I ordered myself a book, 'Return To Slender'.  Its a cook book especially for those who have had bariatric surgery.  I had read some fantastic things about this book so was excited when i received it today.

The author intially speaks about bariatric surgery, basic foods to keep in stock etc.  This is really quite handy to read.  The part that kind of let the book down, was the lack of recipes - there just wasnt enough.  For £10, i wanted at least 10 recipes per section (liquids, purees, solids).    The website that accompanies this book is very good, and i think id probably visit the website more than read this book.

9 Days Post Op

Well today i went to the doctors to have my stitches taken out.  I was not looking forward to it as i could see some of the stitches were stuck in mini scabs!!

Ok so here is a god awful picture of my tummy 3 days post op, and taken on the day i flew back to the UK.  You can see some slight bruising, but honestly it never got worse than this.

Here are my scars today. 

The first scar had a little leakage from it but the nurse said it wasnt an infection, so she just added iodine.  Kind of looks like a cheap chinese style tattoo!








The other pic is of the typical scars ive got - im hoping these will heal up well!  Im so glad the stitches are out - they didnt hurt.  A couple of them had to be 'tugged' but it really wasnt painful.






I have 4 more heparin shots left *ugh*.  Cant wait until those feckers are over and done with!!

So after the heparin is finished, it will just be me and my sleeve x

Ouch

Just injected myself with heparin on the otherside of my tummy, and it hurt too much so went back to the normal side.  And it still really bloody hurt

That is all...

Ketosis

After speaking to Michael yesterday, he asked if i had been feeling light headed or a bit 'odd'.  He had asked me this because this is about the time when your body goes into ketosis.

Now, i had never heard of ketosis until it was mentioned to me last night.  So after doing some research, this is what i have found out:

Ketosis describes the act of your body using up fat reserves for energy - simples right?

Carbohydrates are usually broken down into glucose, which is then converted into energy and transported to muscles and organs etc.

When there is a lack of glucose (ie post weight loss surgery), your body starts to break down stored fat in order to convert it into energy.  This is known as fat metabolism.

Fat metabolism, causes a build up of ketones in the blood, which results in ketosis.

Ketones are actually poisonous, and if left to build up, can increase the acidity in your blood, which can affect your kidneys and liver. 

Symptons

• Tiredness or fatigue
• Headache
• Feeling thirsty all the time
• Bad breath
• Metallic taste in the mouth
• Weakness
• Dizziness
• Nausea or stomach ache
• Sleep problems
• Cold hands and feet

So in the next few weeks my body will be in a state of ketosis, which means that weight should come off nice and steady. My weigh in days are saturdays so will weight and see how this week goes.  Only lost 4 lbs last week whilst away!!  And i didnt eat for 3 of those days (i have been reminded that with lots of fluids being given to me during my stay, its not unsual for people to not loose a lot or even put a pound or 2 on).  Roll on saturday! x

Day 7 - Post Op

Im sat here wrapped up in my lovely PJ's and uber soft n fluffy dressing gown.  It's bloody cold out there!!  Nothing like a recovering invalid...

So yesterday and today all has gone well.  Today I had this weird pain in my left buttock, but im sure its nothing to do with surgery!  I was messing around with my brother today and i lent back onto my bed when i got this pain in my left buttock!  Was like argh!  Not a sharp knife pain, but like something sharp was being pushed really hard into my skin.  As soon as i sat up again, it went.  It happened later on again when i lay on my back and lent on my left cheek!  So im hoping ill be ok tonight when i go to sleep!

My stiches are annoying me - they feel all tight (which i know means they are healing).  I just want my tummy to get back to normal!  I miss sleeping on my belly - booo (like her in the middle)

Michael Dermody (from Cosmetic Bliss) rang today to see how i was getting on.  He has a very comforting, calm voice and is almost a complete opposite to Deborah whos this little ball of energy.   We spoke of how i was etc.  And honestly, ive been fine since leaving the hospital.  My stomach now communicates to me via growling, which is fine.  When she gets very growly, thats when i tend to give her something like a soup/yoghurt/hot chocolate.

In myself im feeling positive and well.  It is frustrating when everyone around you is tucking into beautiful food (as i type, the smell of sausage and mash with onion gravy is floating into my nostrils).  I do now however, truly understand what 'head hnuger' means.  Am i hungry?  No.  Could i eat those sausages?  Damn right!  = my head is saying im hungry.  Im not to worried about head hunger at this stage.  Ive got through the first week just fine.  The trick for me has been lots of different liquid flavours - means im not getting bored.

Today i have eaten:
1/2 mug of options mint madness hot chocolate
1 banana slimfast
1/2 mug fish soup
1/2 vanilla muller yoghurt
1/2 golden vegetable cup a soup
Unlimited no added sugar juice

x

Day 5 - Post Op

Woke up again 6.30am (times are getting better!)  Still not sleeping brilliantly as my back was aching because im on my back and leaning kinda upwards.

My mum has popped over this weekend to offer her support which means i am sharing my bed with my mother and my dog...not ideal post surgery but i didnt have the heart to kick my mum out (or my dog hah!)

My mum cooked up a batch of chilli con carne yesterday in the slow cooker, it smelt heavenly mmmmm.  She blitzed it in the blender to make a kind of mushy pulp carne, but you know what, it still looked devine!!  I had been advised pre-op, to purchase some rfeezable baby food pots, and now i can see why.

I get these odd bouts of swallowing.  Just random swallows (of your average spit) leaves me feeling as though im fighting down acid reflux or heartburn.  Heartburn or reflux never appear but it does feel like it!  Then i can go hours without having the sensation again...weird hey?

This morning, i wasnt sure if i needed a poo, or a good fart.  I had to ask if it were possible to poo if all you were eating were liquids, and the answer is yes.  Well go figure!  So i parked my booty on the loo and low and behold, a teeny soft poop popped out followed by lots of farts!  Felt like i had more room in there now haha!

Also think ive had my first 'trapped wind' incident.  I cant tell if its because i ate my yoghurt to fast, or i was already slightly full from the juicue i had been drinking but my tummy started growling at me, she was not amused...and i got a sharp pain under my right shoulder blade.  Very odd sensation, and something i need to watch the signs of.  I hear trapped wind can be a huge pain in the rear, and can cause some serious pain.  I dont like pain, and so i shall be careful.

Today, i have eaten the following:

2 half cups of mint madness options hot chocolate

lots of sugar free juice between 'meals' (water had annoyed me since drinking it for the last 4 days)

2/3 munch bunch (vanilla & strawberry)

1 banana slimfast

1 half mug of chicken soup

Still not felt hungry, BUT something popped into my head today and i think its going to be one of the first solid foods i try....thats right, cheesy beans on toast.  Ok so its likely i'll only manage about half a slice of toast and a tablespoon of beans, but its gonna taste awesome!

Day 4 - Post Op

I was up at 5.45am this morning.  I would like to thank the nurses and their strict nazi regime.  (They woke us at 5.30am every morning while we were there for a shower - it hurt so bad).  So it would appear this unusual behaviour has now followed me home.

I took my ozzywotsits (aka omeprazole to reduce stomach inflamation or irritation).  I need to do this for a few months post surgery i believe.

I didnt sleep well last night.  After weight loss surgery, it is pretty impossible to rest/sleep unless you are on your back otherwise your tummy gets achey, and thats no good.  So i slept like an 80 year old ninja turtle, awakening with lower back pain, but my pride and joy, the sleeve, intact and looked after.

So, what did i eat today????  Well stand back and let your eyes boggle....I had today:

2 half cups of mint madness highlights hot chocolate
lots of water inbetween 'meals'
1 banana slimfast
2/3 of a nestle munch bunch (strawberry AND vanilla)
half a cup of chicken soup (all bits strained out)

And...voila.  Thats it, not anything more..............................................

Crazy as it sounds, it took a lot of hard work to make sure i was drinking as much water/fluid as possible.  I didnt feel hungry, but my mouth had an odd taste, because i havent chewed food for 6 days (i am constantly brushing my teeth at the moment).

At the end of my day, i now have to self administer (this means inject my bloody self!) with heparin to stop blood clots.  Now this is something i thought id never be able to do, but when we first tried at the hospital, the other two girls just did it, and well the competative side in me kicked in and therefore, i had to inject myself!  So far its been ok...i dont really feel the needle going in, or the liquid going in, but about 10 seconds later, it feels like ive been stung like a bee!  I got brave, so heres a pic!

Coming Home

So we flew home on Friday, with Ryan Air, who just annoy me and should just bloody allocated seats! argh!

Myself and K, went to the back of the plane, and L went to the front for the leg room (just want to add here that on the way there, the 3 of us sat right at the VERY front!).  We found the back row empty this time so myself and K sat at the VERY back.  Luck has been on my side lately and she didnt fail me this time!  I told K to look as wide as she could so no-one sat next to us (and there, ladies and gentlemen, we have a win!).

We flew home comfortably whilst i watched Wolfman on my netbook.

I mean i was worried about the surgery and stitches but everything went well, and i really had no cause for concern.  I guess you cant help a little amount of nerves!

x

Post OP In Hospital

So i havent blogged in the last few days mainly because ive been in and out of sleep.  My sleep patterns have been all over the place sleeping like 4 hours at night, a couple of hours in the morning and maybe 2-3 hours in the evening.

Its been lovely as ive received lots of facebook messages, emails and texts asking how im getting on and it really does make me appreicate how lucky i am to such a beautiful family and wonderful friends.  But as ive been a bit disorientated ive not been too fast replying to people - so sorry people!

Well today im flying back home and luckily im feeling pretty good!

Yesterday i had to inject myself with heparin - the first time ive ever injected myself  *so scary*.  But i was very brave and injected it into my tummy.  It actually didnt hurt toooo badly so that was good because i need to smuggle 6 needles through the airport to give myself when i get home!

Myself and the girls have woken up all positive today.  We're all looking forward to getting home =)

Debroah has popped in today like the whirlwind of energy that she is.  She really does put a positive spin on everything and you cant help but be infected by her passion, enthusiasm and sense of humour.  I have told her today that id like to come back in a year and visit Cosmetic Bliss and Dr Cierny again.  I feel all the good things that happen from this point on are thanks to their service, their kindess, and they genuinly are beautiful people inside and out. 

Today i straightened my hair, and stuck my face on.  It made me feel like the old me was back.  This morning i had a third of a glass of drinking yoghurt and for lunch i had a veggie oxo cube with hot water - it was actually nice!  Im guessing tonight i may have a banana slim fast mmmmm.  I actually like the slim fasts, i mean before my op there was no way in hell i could cope on 2 glasses a day plus a meal.  BUT they are tasty and with my new ickle tummy, i should feel more than satisifed.

The last 2 days ive had boughts of nausea, especially when ive walked.  Ive puked a few times and that was scary as i felt my tummy pulling and i was scared id pull my staples out.  Ive also had boughts of hiccups...mini teeny ones.  Another weird sensation!

Today the nausea seems to have abided but i have asked for the anti nausea medication for the flight home, along with a painkiller.

Ive also decided that i will not be sitting with the other girls on the plane just because three fatties in a row could be uncomfortable!

Dr Cierny has just come in to give us a letter to give the GP and our heparin, plus two paracetemol supositories!

He really is lovely and has a good sense of hmour - ill be eternally grateful to him =)

Heres to my new life!

xx

The Gastric Sleeve Op

So today is the day where i finally have my gastric sleeve.  I was told id be the last one in there - i wasnt too pleased about this.  I wanted to be done and dusted!  (in hignsight, i realise it was a bonus going last - spent the day watching misfits and went into surgery about 3.30pm.)

So one by one the other two girls disappeared and i was left alone in my room.  Half panicking about the op and half enjoying the quiet to myself.

Finally i got the call...i was wheeled around th hospital, the treditional image of ceiling lights flickering by, was making me gulp.

Met my anesthatist in the surgery room, and she said she was going to inject me something via my candular...i woke up in the ICU.  Firstly i was laid on my back - i never sleep on my back as i have a slightly bent spine so it makes it really uncomfortable.  So immediately i was uncomfortable.  It felt as though id had a pack of Rhinos run across my stomach - i thought oh my god, im going to be stuck with this pain forever!!  i tried opening my eyes but everything was fuzzy..i thought i hadnt shaked off the anesthetic.  I was disorientated but it took me about 40 minutes to realise my eyes had actually been covered in something like vaseline!  So i wiped away the vaseline and voila, i could see.

Before i had gone through to the op, the lady had told us that ICU is a weird place.  Every minute seems to last an hour.  And it was true...i couldnt sleep longer than 5 minutes and seconds felt like minutes, and minutes felt like hours.  It was a very strange experience, it kind of felt unwordly.  I remember being very hot and kept asking the nurses to open the windows.  I was made to walk around, i had two drains and a catheter - id never had one of those before.  Very strange sensation is a catheter, dont want one of those again to soon...

Finally, we were allowed out of the ICU room and into our own rooms!

Hospital Tests

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I Cant Sleep

Ok its 3.40am and im wide awake L  I went to bed at about 11, as i was feeling absolutly shattered.  Ive tossed and turned all night – obviously im worried about the surgery and the pre op tests tomorrow. 

I had a phonecall at 3.30 this morning – my only guess is that its my friend from canada...this is what has finally drawn me up and out of bed.  A voicemail was left – i went to access it and all i heard was a garbled mess.  I think its because my voicemail hasnt been set up abroad.  A little freaky at 3.30 to receive a garbled message in a foreign country, in a foreign bed!!

Spooked myself out so stayed up and watched misfits!

Yesterday i flew over to Brno.  Firstly i needed a plastic bag for my liquids, bloody had to pay for them!!  I met K and her husband before going through security.  Both seemed lovely which put me at ease already!  L had already gone through so we met her inside.  She was lovely too.  So all three of us are of similar age, although i think i have the highest BMI. 

The flight was with ryan air, and actually wasnt to bad.  The three of us sat togther which in itself was amusing, we looked like 3 giant sausages squished into a bun!  Another reminder of why i need this surgery.  I could barely squeeze my backside into the chair, the seatbelt was on full whack and i sat with my arms crossed over the whole hour and a half haha

They are an hour ahead of us here.  I had had a tuna sarnie in the morning at about 9am and was starving as we landed (5.45) – luckily so was L which made me feel less like a ganet!  We planned to pee and get something to eat.  We did manage to pee but deb and michael (Cosmetic Bliss owners and organisers) were already waiting for us.  We had a little chat at the airport and all i could think of was ffs, im so hungry!!  We drove to the hotel which is only about 15mins from the airport.

We are allowed to drink up to midnight tonight then in the morning, just brush our teeth.

We checked in and sat in the bar while Deb talked us through some forms *omg im so hungry* and was talking about what would be happening in the next few days.  One of the girls had to meet the shrink tonight so we have come to our rooms and as i type,  i am awaiting a text so that we may eat!

Michael has said we can pretty much eat what we want tonight and enjoy the chewing sensation because its going to be a awhile before we can do that again.  Im hungry and now have a headache – i need food!

We finlly got to the restaurant downstairs - the food was gorgeous.  We were told we could eat anything of the menu (woohoo!)  I had chicken fetucni which was heavinly and a chocolate brownie!  We had a lovely evening and and were chit chatting most the night.

Cosmetic Bliss and Dr Cierny

I have chosen to have my surgery through Cosmetic Bliss.  The couple who run it, Michael and Debra, have both had weight loss surgery themselves.  Debra has had a gastric band and Michael has had a gastric sleeve.  The surgery will be performed by Dr Cierny - and this is he

As i mentioned before, the reviews for Cosmetic Bliss and Dr Cierny have all been fabulous.  I am assured that i will be receiving a really personal service.

Ive spoken to Michael on the phone and via email - hes very nice and usually replies to emails fairly quickly.

I havent met Debra yet or Casandra (Casandra provides nutrional support post op).

Im looking forward to getting this party started!

Coming Out

When i made the decision to go ahead with the surgery, there were a select few i told.  A few close family members, my fat forum, and a couple of friends all were pretty supportive, which was nice.  My now ex, not so supportive - but thats another story...

Well it came to the point where i needed to tell work.  Now i really dont like my boss, shes a twat.  I really didnt want to tell her something so personal about myself.

I think being fat is socially unacceptable.  There really is no sympathy, empathy or understanding.  You are fat, therefore you eat too much and are lazy (ok so its true, but there are underlying issues as to why).  In this age, id feel more comfortable telling people i was an alcoholic or a drug addict.  People and authorities are quick to help.

Anyway, back to work.  So i told my boss i was having an op so id be off for a few weeks *really hoping she wouldnt ask what op*, and she asked "what op?"...Now im a really crap liar, so i had no choice but to tell her.  To be fair she was fine with it, although she asked me if i was having it done on the NHS and i quickly said yes so she couldnt ask me to postpone the surgery! 

I work in a school and i deal with all staff absences - so everyone reports into me if they're ill etc.  So now i had to tell staff i wasnt going to be in, and i knew what was coming...

Everyone wanted to know why i was off during term time (oh piss off nosey people!!) and my terrible lying skills led to me telling most staff what i was having done.  Interesting reactions...some genuinely pleased for me, some giving me the 'loose weight the normal way you lazy bitch' look and my faveourite..stunned silence!!

It wasnt as bad as i thought it would be, just so bloody annoying that people know something about me that i am honestly so ashamed about.  I mean i know they see me every day, and they can see my freakiness, but still.  I got the usual "you're not that big" (thanks - so im big, just not 'needing a crane to be lifted' big), "but youve got such a pretty face", to "have you not tried dieting properly?".  Well fuck me, a diet you say?  Why didnt i think of that....

Not Enough Time!

Ive been trying to get as much of this journey down before my op because i want it to flow and make sense!  I have missed so much out - honestly if i put as much energy into loosing weight as i have done in the last few months researching weight loss surgery, i could well be a size 8!

Its been an emotional rollercoaster. 

Was on high when my GP referred me
Then on a low when the PCT said no
On a high when i decided to go private
On a low when i realised how much it was going to cost!
On a high when i booked it abroad
On a low when people kept warning me off
On a high when id spoken to people who'd been with the same company
On a low when i started the pre-diet
On a high when i started loosing weight!

And well so much more inbetween!!  Im kinda running out of time!

Who Should Do My Surgery?

Weight loss surgery is highly in demand and steadily increasing, which is making this kind of surgery a real money maker.

There are lots of companies and surgeons now providing obesity surgery such as:

Streamline Surgical

Spire

Weightloss Surgery Group

The Hospital Group

Healthierweight

Cosmetic Bliss

Surgicare

Prices vary so really do shop around and also google any providers you are interested in going with.  The best kinds of reviews however, are by people who are active on forums.  Nothing like real time and up to date information!  Research your surgeon too!!  One surgeon could be working for up to 3 different providers who's cost will vary!

Back in September, i came across a company called Cosmetic Bliss.  I had read many favourable posts and feedback from people who had used this provider.  I tried hard to find any negative feedback or reviews, but amazingly i couldnt find any!  I came to the conclusion either those paitients who had bad experiences had died because of them, so therefore unable to provide reviews on forums, or that people were genuinley satisifed!

Now i knew i was definately going to have the surgery, i went through a period where i was scared, i mean heart palpatating fear.  Ive never had an operation before and it was a breathtakingly frightening concept.

Research and fat forums have become my obsession -  i wanted (and still do!) as much information as possible.  I was reading articles, reviews, researching and visiting forums on a daily basis.

It took from September to January to finally decide that Cosmetic Bliss were the company for me.  I had been speaking to, and still am speaking to, a girl who had undergone her surgery with them in October 2010.  She could only say positive things and i jut got to the point where i was like, its now or never!  So i sent my deposit off...there was no turning back

What Kind of Weight Loss Surgery?

It all started by googling 'gastric band'.  Afer reading press stories on celebraties such as Fern Britton, it gave me hope that there was something 'out there' that could actually work.

I joined a few fat forums that i came across, and ill be honest, the wealth of information from these groups is invaluable!  Anyhoo, whilst browsing these forums i came to realise that there were actually other weight loss surgery options.

Gastric Band

The gastric band is placed around the top of the stomach.  In essence it acts like a funnel.  Your new smaller upper stomach pouch is about the size of a golf ball, with the larger part of the stomach sitting below the gastric band.  This means that the pouch above the gastric band can only store a small amount of food, which then passes through the gastric band into the lower part of the stomach.  The gastric band controls the flow rate of food from the upper to the lower part of the stomach.  The drier the texture of food, the slower it will pass through the passage created by the gastric band.  After the band is fitted, paitients are required to have incrimental fills of saline to expand their band (much like an inflatable rubber ring) which reduces the amount of food that passes through the pouch via a port which is attached to the muscle lining.  Paitients may also require de-fills if the band is too tight.  This option can require alot of aftercare. 

Weightloss is achieved by smaller portions being consumed, taking longer to digest,  and the paitient feeling fuller quicker.

Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy (aka Gastric Sleeve)

Rather than creating a pouch with a band, the gastric sleeve actually resects or removes the majority of the stomach. The portion of the stomach which is removed is responsible for secreting Ghrelin, which is a hormone that is responsible for appetite and hunger. By removing this portion of the stomach rather than leaving it in-place, the level of Ghrelin may be reduced to near zero, actually causing loss of or a reduction in appetite. 

Weightloss is acheived by reduced stomach volume, and smaller portions being consumed.

Gastric Bypass (aka RNY)

The Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass involves the stapling of a small section at the top of the stomach to create a small pouch, similar in size to the one formed by the gastric band. The first section of the small intestine is then bypassed and the intestines re-attached to the new pouch, allowing the stomach contents to empty directly into it.  Paitients will require vitamins for life, and most will require regular B12 injections.

Weightloss is achieved by redcued stomach volume with less absorption (absorbing less calories and fewer nutrients).

I felt the gastric band was too faffy.  I didnt like the idea of having to have 'fills' and 'de-fills'.  Also the thought of a plastic port poking through my tummy didnt appeal.  I also later learnt that a band is not for life, they can errode and slip, which would require a further operation - frankly my purse could not deal with this!

I liked the idea of the sleeve.  One op and then im done for life - no faffing. 

I wasnt keen on the bypass as i was worried about the malabsorption aswell as the complication of the actual surgery.  Taking pills for the rest of my life didnt appeal either. 

My decision was made, i wanted a sleeve!